Story and Photos by Henry Perez

Secret ServiceAgent 007, international spy and suave man about town Henry Perez Photo: Kim LaRosa

What do Aston Martins, spies, double agents, femme fatales, tuxedos, gambling casinos, amazing gadgets, Rolex and Omega watches, Walter PPK pistols, exotic international locations and vodka martinis, shaken, not stirred, have in common?

The only possible answer is Bond, James Bond.

Bond, Secret Service Agent 007, with a Licence to Kill, international spy and suave man about town, who has been portrayed on screen by Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig, and yes, even George Lazenby.

David Niven, the 1958 Best Actor Academy Award winner for Separate Tables, also played James Bond in the original 1967 Casino Royale, co-starring Peter Sellers, Orson Welles and Woody Allen; indeed this was definitely a spy-spoof.

Amazingly, in these past few weeks in Miami you didn’t have to be the real deal to find yourself surrounded by or reminded of Aston Martins, spies, double agents, femme fatales, tuxedos, gambling casinos, amazing gadgets, Rolex and Omega watches, Walter PPK pistols, exotic international locations and vodka martinis, shaken, not stirred.

A perfect bond: Sanford and Delores Ziff

Miami was the place to be, if you wanted to Bond with fun-loving people (aka double agents) who were attending two separate events with a 007 theme. The Spies, who literally came in from the cold, were plotting these events, totally undercover and with careless intent.

Having been tipped off about theses secret soirées, the intrepid MiamiARTzine agents were on the prowl, armed to the teeth with an inconspicuous yet intruding camera and a sophisticated recording device, in the guise of a pad and pen; ready to capture every move and uncover every plot concerning international intrigue and plans for world domination. We were On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and we had a mission.

First off, on Saturday, February 10, the Museum of Contemporary Art in North Miami (aka MOCA) was hosting POP 007, a fundraiser where all guests were encouraged to come dressed “Bond Style”. They tried to fool us with great music, excellent food, open bar, a Casino Royale style gaming room and a silent auction . . . we didn’t buy it!

We were able to detect that the festivities were hosted by MOCA Chief Curator Bonnie Clearwater, City of North Miami Mayor Kevin Burns and Emmy Award winning journalist, WSVN Channel 7 Anchor and MOCA Honorary Chair Belkys Nerey.

Dolores Ziff, a former Bond Girl who briefly appeared in the first official Bond series film Dr. No, which premiered in 1962, was honored that evening, alongside her husband Dr. Sanford L. Ziff. Really, who would fall for that?

Continuing our investigation, we found out that part of the evening’s entertainment was to be provided by the incomparable Adora who, dressed to the nines (or was it to the double 0 sevens?) was to perform two of the most popular James Bond theme songs from Diamonds are Forever and Goldfinger, to the sounds of the legendary Shirley Bassey. Secret codes, indeed!

Bond girls Anastasia the Great, Maryel Epps and Angela Crucitti

Eavesdropping on a conversation, we could hear Dr. No on his cell talking with The Spy Who Loved Me, who was speaking From Russia With Love about the fact that You Only Live Twice and Tomorrow Never Dies if you can keep your GoldenEye intact. Then they talked about The Man With the Golden Gun kicking The Living Daylights out of an unsuspecting agent, but somehow this was strictly For Your Eyes Only, as this was truly A View to a Kill from someone who believed in the philosophy of Live and Let Die and who thinks The World is Not Enough. Truly, a real Moonraker and a master in the Art of Octopussy; a man who would rather Die Another Day than surrender to the authorities.

Trying to be totally inconspicuous, people ate, drank, danced, gambled, partook in the silent auction and paraded their favorite Bond character about. If looks were deceiving, I could have been totally fooled. But I was too smart for them!

All in all, it was a fabulous event and a great opportunity to gather some very crucial data from key players, data that would come in handy in just a matter of days, when spies, assassins for hire and double agents would come head to head, in a final collision.

As secretly planned, on the following Thursday night, February 15, as the clouds of world destruction gathered above, another Bond affair took place at the Carnival Center for the Performing Arts Ziff Ballet Opera House in Miami. This time around, it was a Dr. No themed birthday celebration for Dolores Ziff, an original Bond Girl. I was onto them!

A beautiful poster designed by artist Romero Brito, which included two photos from the scenes in which Dolores Ziff appeared in the film, was on display as party guests, or shall we say, femme fatales and double agents in tuxedoes, arrived at the Ballet Opera House for this undercover affair.

Harvey Burstein, or is that Bondstein, with a couple of Bond babes

Once again, people dressed in their best Bond attire, enjoyed an evening of great food, drink, dance and fantastic music provided by the Studio One All Stars band, indeed, a bunch of “hired assassins”. That evening, the diva herself, Maryel Epps, sang several songs in honor of Dolores Ziff.

Having obtained enough data, and eaten enough food, we decided it was time to act; no more Mr. Nice Guy. As planned, we split; I made my way thru the crowds as I took out my stealth weapon from its case and pointed it at the unsuspecting double agents, right to their eyes. And I started shooting, and shooting, and shooting. I couldn’t stop! 

It was beautiful. I shot everybody, left, right and center, sometimes two shots per victim; men, women and children, no one was spared.  They were all temporarily blinded, as if hit by a Thunderball. And all the while, I smiled . . . smiled with joy and satisfaction.

At the end of the day, the photos of both events came out fabulous, and can be seen by checking the Photo Gallery on this issue. Some names have been changed to protect the guilty, one can only hope some good comes out of it; Never Say Never.