I have an extraordinary neighbor. His name is Lou and he just turned 91. Lou drives a (brand new) car, goes to shul seven (that’s right SEVEN) days a week and even has a girlfriend. He also works out at a gym twice a week. As a writer, photographer, and videographer living in sunny, retirement South Florida, I meet a good amount of older people and none of them are like Lou. The man is a regular bon vivant but with Kosher dietary restrictions.
I write about Lou because he is an inspiration not only for older people, but for people in general. I remember the time when I first saw Lou. I had just moved in to my new condo. One day I was at the kitchen sink looking out the window and I saw Lou walk by headed towards the parking lot. He seemed very purposeful. The next day I saw him again. This time coming from the parking lot and accompanied by an attractive older woman. I could hear the two of them laughing and talking as they passed by my window. It made me wonder, “Where is this guy going all the time? And who’s the spiffy dame?” This went one for a few weeks. I kept seeing this guy endlessly coming and going at all hours of the day. Hey, I’m on the move a lot and he was on the move more than me!
Finally, one day I ran into Lou and his attractive companion, whom I assumed was his wife, in the parking lot. I stopped them and introduced myself. “I couldn’t help but notice how you and your wife are always on the go. It’s really admirable how you two are so active!” I said. The woman, who was at least in her mid-80s and very coordinately dressed, laughed and extended her hand, “I’m Betty, and he’s not my husband, he’s my boyfriend!” Lou shook my hand. “I’m Lou.The boyfriend.”I thought to myself, wow, she’s at least 80 and she has a boyfriend. And I don’t. WTH? This made me laugh, as many of my inner jokes do. “What’s funny?” Lou asked smiling.
I told them how great I thought they were and, as it almost always happens, I had my camera with me, so I asked if I could take their picture. They seemed perplexed as to why I had taken an interest in them. In American society once people get past a certain age, they become invisible. And once people get older, even though they may be in perfectly good health, a lot of folks give up on life, and start riding those little scooters, even though they may be perfectly capable of walking. In short, they cease living life vibrantly. Not Lou and Betty.
As the weeks and months passed, I got to know Lou and Betty more. They had been dating for ten years and took many trips together.When Lou was a young man of 80, he and Betty would drive from Florida to Boston to visit his children and do some sight-seeing. Betty was a great dancer and she and Lou would regularly cut a rug at different events and socials. Even though they had separate homes (Betty had a house a few miles away) they saw each other every day and ate dinner together every night. But the best part was how well they got along. Even though they had their differences (Lou ate Kosher, Betty sometimes strayed) they maintained a loving relationship. I made a mental note of their separate living quarters and how well that played for them. I’ve always been a fan of personal space.
Sadly, Betty passed away after an operation just a few months after I met her. Lou was devastated, but not defeated. Lou had been down this road before. Prior to Betty, Lou had buried two wives and was no stranger to loss.
“It’s sad when people die,” Lou told me. “But you have to go on. You have to keep living or you’ll wither away.”
A few months later, I met Trudy, Lou’s new girlfriend he met at a bridge club. Lou is not a time waster. We could all learn a lesson here. Bad and sad things happen to all of us it’s part of life. Just don’t get stuck in the quicksand of the poor pitiful me drama. You either get sucked in or you move on. Sink or swim, as the saying goes.
And here’s a sobering thought: Right now, right at this moment while you are reading this, this is as young looking (sans plastic surgery) and hot as you are ever going to be. Even after you stop reading this and toggle over to Amazon, Etsyor Karl’s Sausage Kitchen to see what’s up and new – you’ll be older. So make the most of it.
I asked Lou what his secret was, how he kept so full of energy and what he attributed his long life to. (At 91, the man has NO aches, pains or ailments.)
Here’s what he told me:
- 1. Exercise.
- 2. Have a sense of humor.
- 3. Don’t eat crappy food.
- 4. Have a schedule.
- 5. Have someone to share life with.
Says Lou, “If I didn’t have a schedule, I’d be in the grave. Besides, I’m too busy to die.”
And That’s the View from this Ageless Broad.
Anna Collins is a writer, photographer and videographer.
See her work at www.AnnaCollins.com.
