ART WORKSHOPS AND OTHER SHAPESHIFTING* OPPORTUNITIES

by Irene Sperber on January 28, 2012

*Shapeshifting: able to change form or identity at will; especially : a mythical figure that can assume different forms (as of animals)” definition from Merriam-Webster On New Year’s Eve didn’t you swear that you’d stop whirling about maniacally and focus on your inner life during this Chinese new year of the Water Dragon; either meeting yourself head on for the first time or actually spending quality time inside your head instead of meandering through the detritus of Facebook walls and meaningless info. I think I heard you say that. There is a plethora of opportunities to elongate that existential being trapped inside screaming for a little beam of sunlight. Miami is a veritable explosion of people and institutions offering wildly diverse options to nudge us out of the comfy ruts of daily existence. As...more

LATE BLOOMERS

our movie critic, Ruben Rosario, discusses two films from the Miami Jewish Film Festival

by Ruben Rosario on January 25, 2012

It's never too late to find out who you really are. There are many ways movie directors may choose to convey such a voyage of self-discovery, but as depicted in two of the features screening this week as part of the 2012 Miami Jewish Film Festival, the only thing standing in their own way is their excessively deterministic worldviews. Take, for instance, the overeager romantic comedy Dorfman, which fires off one third-rate sitcom joke after another before it becomes aware – too late, as it happens – of its potential to be something more than a string of feeble attempts to score a few (unearned) easy laughs. This aggressively chipper portrait of an ugly duckling getting in touch with her inner swan is trying so hard to please that it winds up smothering the audience. Deb Dorfman (Sara Rue) leads a humdrum existence in the...more

A View From a Broad

Facing Down Facebook

I am assuming everyone reading this has a Facebook account or has at least visited the landscape and has a modicum of familiarity with arguably the most popular social network in the world. That said, I’m starting to hate it. When Facebook first came out – it was fun and useful. You could post what you were up to business-wise, you could promote certain events and if you were a performer, let people know where you’d be. All of which you can still do. Facebook was also a good place for scattered family members to stay in touch. Now, years later, it’s just become a gigantic stew of narcissistic nincompoops that think their every move is of national importance and relevance. The posts are beyond asinine: “Hi All – I made a salad today with all kinds of veggies – but not cukes! ‘Causemy hubby HATES cukes! ?” Like. Like. Like. Poke. Poke. Like. WHO GIVES A F*CK? Like, like, poke, poke! The fact that someone would post something as inane as this is bad enough – but how about the nimrods that consider this newsworthy enough to comment on it? Like. What does that mean? Do you like the fact that this comment has the literary value of a kumquat or that perhaps you can suggest other things the author of this fatuous post can do with a cucumber? Or… “Me and my mini-me (daughter) went to the mall today and she bought her firstbra! So adorable! It was pink with little bows. Oh, they grow up SO fast!” WTF? Who could possibly be interested in a post like this except for maybe the odd pedophile hoping for accompanying photos? What’s next? Your son’s first jockstrap? It’s gotten to the point where it actually pains me to go on Facebook. I do it to post my shows and upcoming events – ugh – because that’s the world we live in and that’s where people get their information – but it’s scary and I’ll tell you why. You never really know who’s viewing you. I just watched an HBO movie called Catfish. See it. Catfish is a documentary, directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman and involving Ariel’s brother Nev, who is filmed as he builds a romantic relationship with what he thinks, is a hot young woman on Facebook. I won’t detail it – but suffice to say the film is about deception and how easy it is to steal/make up an identity and convince others you are real. Personally, I don’t care for any kind of online dating/meeting whatsoever. That’s just me. After I had a dating site date with a so-called writer who wanted to put me in the trunk of his car for several hours to have me tell him first-hand what terror feels like – I was outta the online scene for good. But I digress, albeit relevantly. Poke this… And “poke”. WHAT does that mean? Poke, poke. We’re not in prison. Have you seen that hand with the poking finger sticking out? It looks like it’s getting ready to give you a rectal exam! That poking finger is creepy and suspicious-looking and I have a theory about it. Remember the “Return to Sender” hand from the post office? That hand they stamped on an envelope if the address was wrong? It used to say: “Return to Sender for Better Address.” Hey asshole, this is the only address I can afford! If you want me to have a “better address” lay some cash on me, Jack! And quit pointing a finger at me and my “bad address” it’s making me feel bad. See, I think since all those lay-offs at the post office, the Bad Address Hand got laid off too – and reinvented itself and resurfaced as the Poking Finger Hand! It went from the Pointing Finger to the Poking Finger! That’s right. Nothing gets by me. Had I taken another path, I’m certain I could have worked for the CIA. Or Denny’s. And furthermore… Another thing I now loathe about Facebook is that damn scrolling barrage of gibberish that lives on the right side of the page that keeps jumping around because God forbid you missed little Johnny’s recital or another open mic night at the Fart Factory (bring 50 people and get 5 minutes stage time!) Or the names with the green dots next to them so you can see who’s online and who may potentially message you - forcing you to reply politely - when all you want to do is see what new skank your ex is dating. Go away for chrissakes! You need the eyes of fruit fly to take it all in. That’s it. I’m done except for one thing….don’t forget to follow me on Facebook. Like, like, poke, poke, push over a cliff (I made up the last one.) And that’s the View from this Effing F Book Broad. ANNA COLLINS will be performing at the Fort Lauderdale Comedy Club along with Peter Fogel for a “He Said – She Said” Valentine’s Day Show, Feb. 14 @ 8 PM. Tickets are $10. Call 954-530-2069. Online at: Fort Lauderdale Comedy Club. (See her do “The Poking Finger” bit LIVE – as inspired by this MAZ column!)

Brenda Alford, Diva With a Cause

If you see Brenda Alford perform, be prepared to be wowed by her incredible voice and vocal range. She gained a fan last year when I saw her perform in a show called ‘The Four Divas’ at the Broward Center in Ft. Lauderdale. When I interviewed her after the show, I inquired where has she been singing lately. She informed me that she is actually in retirement from show business. She answers to another calling, which is teaching. That calling manifested itself at an early age in her life. In lyrics to a song that she wrote for Sonny Rogers, she tells a touching story of how, as a kindergarten student, she helped an 80 year old man from her hometown learn to read. In Jan. 2010, Brenda participated in the National African American Read-In Day which took place in the Carlson Library of the University of Pennsylvania. Brenda was honored last year by Dade County and the City of Homestead V.F.W. Auxillary Post as “Teacher of the Year’. In a singing career that began in 1978 in Baltimore, Md., Brenda has performed jazz, pop and gospel in concerts in North America, the Caribbean and Asia. She worked with some of the greatest names in jazz. These include Pete Minger, Stanley Turrentine, Sonny Stitt, Philly Jo Jones, Sam Jones, Tommy Flannagan, Keter Betts, Lou Donaldson, Ron Carter, Al Foster, and Cyrus Chestnut. Alford has also performed in two movies: Jon Waters' “Hairspray” and Barry Levinson’s “Avalon”. You can hear her on records she made with Horace Silver on the Blue Note label. She recorded live in concert with sax innovator Flip Phillips, and on pianist Billy Marcus' c.d. “Hamp”. (Hampton asked her to perform with Billy at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival in Moscow, Idaho, for his 90th birthday). Her own recordings include “Brenda Alford at Morgan State”; a single, “Last Night in Baltimore”; and most recently, “My Favorite Things” in concert with Othello Molineaux at the Old Dillard Museum in Ft. Lauderdale. Fortunately, Brenda does a “Barbara Streisand” from time to time by coming out of retirement to delight her fans. For the last Martin Luther King Jr. celebration at the Clarion College Hart Chapel, she had the audience on their feet after singing “Got the World on a String” and “Girl from Ipanema”. She followed this with the heartbreaking “Body and Soul”. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Then she did a cameo appearance at sax man Melton Mustafa’s benefit concert at Stu Grant’s Sunday Morning Jazz on 880AM, Miami. Grant announced that “South Florida's very own Brenda Alford stopped by to grace the audience with her rendition of "My Funny Valentine". (See video at end of column). “I haven't found the words to describe the beautiful sounds coming from her mouth” he said. Last month, the Stage in Miami featured Alford in their monthly rent party. I made sure to get their early to claim a good seat. I was rewarded with a star quality performance in this very intimate setting. Check out www.brendaalford.com for future engagements. Click on link to Brenda Alford video:- http://youtu.be/wBdf3KCB3RE