Not a damn thing. Unless it’s a dwarf scuttling out of a penthouse bathroom. A dwarf wearing leather. A dwarf with a limp. And carrying cocaine. And of course having the hero, who’s also the playwright, taking the stage with the classic line: “Well, fuck me with a spoon.” And things go way uphill from there.
This is Michael McKeever writing and acting at his witty, cynical best. Laugh a minute? Oh, yes, and then some.
Plot wise, and hiding a sock full of surprises, dead, very naked, rent boy is found on bedroom floor of famous action movie star, so straight he dresses in the dark. The body must be removed and the cover up in place before said star is called to the stage at the Golden Globes taking place right now, this instant, across town. Tension, pressure, oh, what to do?The hysterically funny Vanessa Elise is the maid who finds the body and who speaks no English and who gets screams of laughter every time she’s on the stage and thank goodness, she’s on a lot. She phones the hotel manager, Clay Cartland, who could win a Carbonell playing an aspidistra. With earth bound roots. He’s Nervous Nellie personified; you should see him with a penis is his hand. Relax, it’s rubber.
His physicality as the rigid manager is a comic delight. So he phones McKeever who is the action star’s manager and who has spent two years getting his man on the GG stage this very night. If you don’t know McKeever, you should. You’re missing a man of extraordinary talent, and he’s wonderfully at home in this role he wrote for himself. The perfect man as the Hollywood insider, elegantly tuxedoed for the awards’ night, master of the the quips and the silences. So he phones Lela Elam, who gorgeously explodes around the penthouse in a bright red dress, top heavy with diamonds, the snake eyed cleaner.
Blood, brains, guts, no matter who or where, she’ll clean up your largest mistake. Just a phone call, thank you. And of course if you have a straight, all he-male, kisses only his horse actor, then the rules of life dictate there must be a gay hooker floating about and this guy is played by Robert Johnston, thank you, Lord.
So sure, I loved the cast, loved the writing, loved Stuart Meltzer’s direction. And even the last couple of minutes when a touch of morality slipped into this really funny ninety minute one act.
Slick art deco set by Robert F. Wolin, sound design by Stuart Meltzer and properties by Jodi Dellaventura.
A joint presentation of Zoetic Stage and the Adrienne Arsht Center , Clark Gable Slept Here plays through April 6 in the Carnival Studio Theater, 1300 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami. 305-949-6722