Emalie Belokon as Shelby Hinkely and Brayan Quevedo as Tobey Maguire in Creatives Under No Theater's "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
Tobey Maguire has to pee. Can you believe it? The Tobey Maguire, former heartthrob and famed movie star, now 50, whom many teenage girls and others once deified, is actually human.
In the comical play “I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire,” 14-year-old Shelby may sense this humanity deep down but she’s too busy honeymooning with Maguire in France to let him relieve himself before he bursts. To Shelby’s credit, she eventually brings him a bucket.
Speaking of bathroom breaks, make sure you go before the show starts, so you don’t miss any of the madcap action in Samantha Hurley’s zany, fast-paced piece. It’s receiving an energetic, convincing, laugh-filled production by the new Miami-area theater company Creatives Under No Theater. The show, which runs about 90 minutes without intermission, continues for one more weekend at Main Street Players’ intimate black-box theater in Miami Lakes.
Emalie Belokon as Shelby Hinkely and Brayan Quevedo as Tobey Maguire in Creatives Under No Theater's "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
In what is generally a triumphant debut production, Sara Jarrell’s comic, high-energy direction leaves room not only for laughs but also for quieter, more touching moments that move us. The production features a trio of young, talented local performers Emalie Belokon, Brayan Quevedo, and Thiana Berrick.
“I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire” may not be groundbreaking, and parts of it really stretch the limits of credibility. But it’s an entertaining, satirical play that takes aim at our obsession with celebrity. The piece also pokes fun at how people tend to disappear into fantasy worlds to escape our dreary, often frightening existence (especially in 2025).
Emalie Belokon as Shelby Hinkely dreams of her wedding in Creatives Under No Theater's "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
Hurley’s play takes place in 2004, two years after the release of “Spiderman,” with Maguire as the titular comic book hero. When the play opens, Shelby and a female friend (an offstage character) have already somehow overpowered Maguire, knocked him unconscious, and dragged him to the dreary home Shelby shares with her neglectful parents in a small, fictional South Dakota town its name alone might make you snicker. In the play, Hurley briefly explains how the two girls managed to do this, and let’s just say you’ll need to stretch your suspension of disbelief.
One thing’s for certain: With Maguire handcuffed and chained to a pole in the basement of Shelby’s house, he’s not going anywhere.
While Shelby imagines that she married Maguire in her basement and the two are already honeymooning in France, the teen must contend with her incredulous new “spouse,” who doesn’t know Shelby and wants nothing to do with her. In fact, all he wants is to leave. Meanwhile, Shelby’s mother (heard but not seen) sharply demands that her daughter tend to everyday matters which include clipping mom’s toenails. Shelby’s parents are distant, the father is absent, and the family is poor.
While Shelby seems over the moon that the movie star is in her basement, it’s only a matter of time before she discovers that Maguire may not be the perfect specimen she imagines.
Part of the play’s humor stems from the sheer implausibility of the situation. Also, Shelby, dreamy and dramatic, tends to overreact. For instance, when she learns that Maguire smokes (gasp!), swears (double gasp!), and may be uncircumcised (triple gasp! and faint-inducing shock!), you worry she’ll swoon.
Brayan Quevedo in "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
Expect the unexpected. Further, the play uses self-aware humor (meta-theatricality) to call attention to itself as fiction. At times, the playwright blurs the line between fantasy and reality. It forces us not just to passively observe a seemingly real world beyond the imaginary fourth wall, but to think about our own experiences with celebrity worship and maybe even obsession. Parts of the play may make you uncomfortable, especially if you’re shy.
In fact, the fourth wall comes crashing down when at least one character enters the audience and addresses us (he may even speak to you directly). While much of the play is genuinely funny, you may roll your eyes at other times. And we never learn why Shelby is so obsessed with Maguire. Learning why might further endear us to Shelby. In addition, we might learn more about Shelby’s character and her dreams. Does she only aspire to marry Maguire?
If you briefly describe the play to others, the piece may sound like a light-hearted, lightweight satire/farce. But for a work that lasts just about 90 minutes, “I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire” is layered. Indeed, from a simple (if implausible) premise, the piece expands into a darkly comic exploration of obsession, celebrity worship, isolation, connection, the power of art, make-believe, and community, as well as the exploitation of actors by Hollywood executives and the public.
Belokon deftly portrays her Shelby in a multi-faceted performance and we keenly sense her character’s resoluteness. As she fixes her dark, intense eyes on Maguire, you may wonder whether Shelby will turn into the possessed Regan MacNeil from the 1973 classic horror film, "The Exorcist."
Emalie Belokon as Shelby Hinkely in "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
To her credit, Belokon’s portrayal leaves room for Shelby’s vulnerability. As she breaks down, her tears look and sound real, and you truly feel for this lonely, lost young woman who flees into fantasyland to escape her dreary existence. We also sense a close bond between Belokon’s Shelby and Quevedo’s Maguire as the two touch while slow dancing in a moving moment near the end of the play.
Quevedo wisely doesn’t try to mimic Maguire but instead creates a character that captures the real-life actor’s essence. With dark hair, shining eyes, and a pleasant voice, Quevedo’s Maguire at times comes across as a shy, unassuming, smiling man with enough charm to seduce. The performer also imbues Maguire with seemingly effortless charisma and commanding stage presence as he addresses the audience.
Obviously, Maguire finds himself in an unusual situation here, and Quevedo conveys believable helplessness, disbelief, and exasperation as the character tries to make sense of his ordeal.
Rounding out the cast, Berrick, with deft comic timing, adeptly portrays multiple characters, including a confident, fast-talking real estate saleswoman who looks something like an adult Annie. With a hint of deviousness and seduction, Berrick also plays Maguire’s poster, which comes to life in this play.
One of the production’s shortcomings is that the uncredited set designer could have made the space more claustrophobic and drearier to suggest that a poor family lives in the house. But while the spacious set could be bleaker, it’s clear that an obsessed fan lives there. For instance, its walls are filled with photos of Maguire, as well as other telling details. Meanwhile, the presence of props such as DVDs helps set the play in another decade.
Thiana Berrick as Brenda D Cankles in "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
Lighting-wise, the uncredited designer bathes the space in a pinkish-purplish hue that reinforces a nonrealistic and romantic aura for the play’s dream-like sequences. At times, realistic, white light appears beside the pinkish-purplish color, suggesting the merging and blurring of reality and fantasy. The lighting designer also wisely dims the lighting for one of the production’s more romantic scenes.
The sound design is consistently clear, and includes mood-enhancing music, while the character-appropriate costumes help situate the play in its early-2000s setting.
Creatives Under No Theater has started off on a triumphant note with its believable and playful production of “I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire.” Clearly, this company will be worth watching as it grows. It’s “a femme led collective dedicated to reimagining theatrical space as a site of autonomy, vulnerability, and bold emotional truth. We champion stories that are unruly, intimate, and unafraid to take up space, especially those historically dismissed as ‘too much.’”
Emalie Belokon as Shelby Hinkely, Thiana Berrick as Brenda D Cankles and Brayan Quevedo in "I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire" through Sunday, Sept. 14 at Main Street Playhouse. (Photo by Gabriel Medina)
If You Go:
- What: Creative Under No Theater’s debut production of “I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire"
- When: 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday through Sept. 14.
- Where: Main Street Playhouse, 6812 Main Street, Miami Lakes
- Tickets: $30 for general admission ($25 for seniors, students, and military). For tickets, go to msp.ludus.com/index.php?show_id=200490700
